It was one of those lust at first sight moments, from the moment I saw her I knew I had to have her. The only bummer was, that she was a virgin, and was waiting till marriage to break the seal on her veeger. I would have flowers delivered to her house, I would feed her rabbit when she had to go away for a night, I even waited for months for a small kiss on the lips. I would fall asleep with my pager on my chest, hoping the vibration would wake me up if she hit me with a “911” at 3am.
I would do anything for her just to get a glimpse of a smile.
She went away for a weekend, and left her rabbit with me for the weekend. I put him in my back yard in the cage that morning and went to work. It was the middle of the summer in Nyack, and when I left the rabbit, he was in the shade. I spent the day humping buckets of bottles, cans, and newspapers into a recycling truck while the hot summer sun beat the sweat out of the top of my head, running down my forehead and burning my eyes. Scratching my face with the dirty gloves I was using to wipe away the sweat left swipes of dirt down my face and chest. I stopped at Dunkin Donuts to get a medium coffee light and sweet, and a toasted coconut donut after my long hard day. When I finally arrived back home in the late afternoon the sun had moved, and turned the cool, shady, cage into a toaster oven. The rabbit laid on its back, with it’s tongue slithered under the bucked teeth off to the side of it’s furry little face, paws curled into complete rigor mortis. I had killed her rabbit. I quickly removed it from the cage, laying it on it’s back on the grass. I pried open it’s mouth and started CPR on the poor little varmint. Pushing my fingers on it’s chest while counting to five, then breathing into it’s buck teethed mouth once again. In a complete panic I called for my roommate rob, who started laughing hysterically when he came downstairs and saw my panic stricken face. My first thought was to find a pet store and buy another rabbit identical to the one I had baked and murdered in the sun. She wasn’t supposed to be home till late the next night, so I had time to replace it. That was one of the most sleepless nights I had ever had in my life. The next morning I decided just to tell her that I killed the fucking thing.
The lust of my life finally arrived home and finally, after hours of hanging out I told her. She laughed and basically thanked me for taking the burden of caring for a smelly rabbit off her hands… I buried it in the back yard and it was never spoke of again, and I never got to fuck her either…
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