late night at a bar.......

if i walk into the bathroom of a dark dingy waterhole to use the freshly sanitized urinal, to coat the pink urinal biscuit with a liquid slightly resembling green gatorade for my lack of water intake.....occasionally i will be blessed with a patron or two in the stall next to me, making the sweet sounds that drug addicts make when a bill becomes unfolded in the sweaty hands of an intoxicated douchebag that just scored some cocaine......stone cold sober i am repulsed at just the thought of doing it, and i want to kick the door down and smack it from there hands into the toilet, to stop the sniffling and the whispering.....but you give me one shot of whiskey and i am climbing the walls to join in and make them my best friends for the rest of the night.....or at least until the cocaine is gone.

i can go from waking up every morning, doing 50 push ups and eating a banana....to not going to bed until the sun comes up having to pop a xanex to rem the sleep in a 2 hour period. my life immidiately becomes a whirl winding nightmare of red lights and bad breath, punching metal gates in dumpster reeked alleys, and avoiding phone calls from the people i love. jumping in cabs with strange men with accents and funny shirts, venturing out to the middle of nowhere in hopes of a better time then where i just was. then once i get there and the conversation about tommy lees drumming becomes mundane, i will walk 15 miles back to the place i was before....hoping it will be better than the last time i was there......always tired......always wondering what would have happened if i made a left instead of a right. four rights only make a left in the spirit world.....stopping occasionaly to forget a conversation......and constantly remembering that the sun shouldn't be taken for granted, and is never overrated......