its friday august 6th....10:06 am

i have already chucked down 2 cups of coffee and a cigarette. the mugginess of the midwest has let up a little the past 2 days and you are finally able to drive with the windows down. i don't know what it is about air conditioning but i always feel like im standing in front of a microwave when that shits blowing on me...like its not real air and im gonna get some weird crystalization disease in my lungs....not like the "fresh air" of the open road is any healthier these days, it just makes me feel a little less trapped under ice.

i have been in iowa for about a week now and will be here for 7 more days. it never seems as long as it should because my family is here and it goes by way to quick all the time. and maybe this is me getting old or whatever, but i really enjoy the quiet out here.....hollywood just gets way too much for me these days...mom bought a patio set the other nioght and me and pops spent the evening putting it together, then last night we just hung out on the porch and smoked cigarettes. totally what my parents and their friends used to do when i was a kid. the smell of the citronella candles burning under the table brought me right back to woodstock in 1981....

my sister had just been born and my grandmother had just spent basically all the money my grandfather left her when he died remodeling the old house. so every weekend we would drive up from the projects in garfield nj to this huge mansion in upstate ny. pretty confusing for a 10 year old kid...but i adjust to situations pretty quickly....sometimes i would cry when it was time to go upstate....and sometimes i would cry when we had to go back to jersey. i am just as confused now as i was back then......but one of the worst things that ever happened to me was when my grandma sold that house........

i used to catch the big moths and drip candlewax on there wings and watch them walk around till i felt bad for what i did...then i would rip there wings off and throw them in the candle, pull them out and light them on fire. lets not even get into what me and scotty used to do to the frogs in the woods when we were kids....total beavis and butthead shit. me and brenna bought a bug zapper at bed bath and beyone last night but it was a small one, not like the big deep fryers we had when i was a kid. i gotta go find one of those cuz 30 years later.....watching bugs fry is still the coolest thing in the world to me.....is anyone reading this garbage? im gonna shut up and smoke another cigarette on the porch....."have a great day, it's your choice"~jack g.

sincerely..

jason christopher