RUNNING WITH THE DEVIL ..........PT. 1

once the wheels start turning, its nearly impossible to put on the brakes...

i was at my moms in stony point. i had gone there once again to kick heroin. i was 27 years old, it was winter, and i was foiled again....there had been a few times that i was "done using" and had stayed sober for quite some time..but there was also about 700 times where i thought i was done, but as soon as i woke up sick the next morning, there was no fucking way....this unfortunately was one of those times. when you wake up sick and realize you are not done and you are close to drugs or at least know where to get them is one thing. but when you wake up realizing you are not done in the middle of fucking nowhere, it's a whole nother story...everyone in the house was either at school or work and i was in this huge house in rockland county all by myself. i started to panic after i couldnt get up the steps to the kitchen and grabbed the phone. one of the hardest things about kicking is trying to forget the phone numbers you have memorized in your head...they just seem to run through my brain like i was in the fucking bullpen on wall street....so i called my dealer in harlem...with it being about 45 miles away and me not having any way to get there, i figured calling him to see if he was around would be a great idea. when he answered my brain clicked and if i had to hitchhike there, i was going to do whatever i had to do to get to harlem, get a needle in my arm, and get back to rockland before anyone got home.......there was a 5 speed candy apple red jetta sitting in the driveway and my mother had hidden the keys, or taken them with her...we lived at the middle of a horseshoe type culdesac at the top of a very steep hill....my wonder twin powers had activated and i had formed into the shape of a man who was not dopesick anymore, and was going to push this car out of the driveway and pop start it on the way down the hill....after 4 or 5 failed attempts i finally got the car to the top of the driveway all by my lonesome, those little german cars are fucking heavy....as the car starts to roll down the hill i jump in the drivers seat totally excited that the car was gonna pop into gear and my mission would be a success! what i didnt know being the super car guy i am was that if the keys aren't in the ignition.......the car wont pop into gear.
with the moment of complete failure at hand, washed over by a light bead of panic because there was no way i was pushing the car back up the hill, i walked back to the house frantically.....i called a friend who was living with his mom close to where i needed to be and he said if i could get out there that everything would be handled...it was now around 10 in the morning and i had only had about 7 hours left to complete this mission succesfully....so i did the next best thing a junkies mind would come up with....i went into my mothers jewelry box, stole 2 watches, and called a cab from the house phone........