I don’t really care about your fantasy…noone really cares about anyone elses fantasy. Mine is better than yours anyway….
i could care less about most peoples reality. I hate small talk, I hate when I ask how someone how they are doing and they get all confused and think for a minute that I actually give a fuck and start telling me….you are basically switching me to asshole mode and making me say “settle down my friend….that was a surface question”…..
i barely give a fuck about myself most of the time so its just about impossible for me to ever take anything that comes out of anyones mouth seriously.
I used to actually pretend to listen to girls….like I would go out with them to bars or dinner or whatever and pretend I cared. Hoping I wasn’t going to get a quiz before the panties actually came off. Listening to them talk about NOTHING for hours, the whole time just wondering if she was going to let me stick my middle finger in her vagina, and hoping if she did that it didn’t smell like hot garbage.
I would buy a girl a drink from across the bar, eventually make my way over to her, and feed her every line of bullshit my drunken ass could muster up in hopes of getting a phone number to I could call her and talk to her on the phone, in hopes of getting to meet up at another bar later in the week. Then eventually hoping to get her naked. I have absolutely no recollection of when that stopped. Like I really just don’t give a FUCK anymore. I tell girls exactly what the deal is and if they don’t like it they can go find some poor sap that will play them their “demo” or hold hands with them at the grove or some shit…..maybe even pay for a few movies.
A lot of people including myself find this behavior to be sad and childish. I just think its weird that when I was a child I acted a completely different way…and now that I am an “adult” (yes we take that word very lightly in my case), I have absolutely no desire to fall in love with someone, take the time to get to know them, wake up in the morning and see them laying next to me….maybe rubbing the ball of her foot on my leg. A best friend to laugh at my jokes and rub my back in the bathtub. Someone to shop for on valentines day. Someone that throws me a surprise birthday party or that stands next to me at a family funeral so I have a shoulder to cry on and a neck to kiss……
I have no idea why making a 21 year old girl piss on my chest while I jerk off on the back of her leg and stare at her cute little feet appeals to me more than than all of that wonderful “time of your life” shit……
im pretty sure all of this started happening around the time i wasnt able to just drink anymore and needed cocaine to stand up straight......
nice. +1. your style reminds me here a bit of David Foster Wallace circa 'Girl With Curious Hair'
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