every weekend we would go up to our house in woodstock. scott's house was pretty much right next to mine. there was probably a 400 ft. patch of woods that separated our houses. i couldn't wait to get to the house, i would drop off my bag and run through the woods to scott's house. scott's kitchen had the spaghettio's with meatballs, and the double stuff oreo's...my house never had that shit. we would hang out in the playroom and watch t.v. and eat crap, it was alot of fun...the only cable station known to man at that time was channel 68 on uhf and on friday nights they would play horror movies. we would sit there and watch friday the 13th, or halloween, or i spit on your grave, and fucking shake like little bitches..see watching a horror movie actually takes on a whole new meaning when you are actually living in the woods...

and everytime it never failed. the movie would end, scott's dad would poke his head around the wall and say, "ok jase it's time for the kids to go to bed now". and i would look out the window at the deep dark night, and realize that i had to go 400 ft. through the woods to get to my house....by myself.....i would hesitate as long as i could and then make my way through the kitchen to the back door. i would hit the switch for the porch light and with the combination of both lights from scott's house and mine there would be enough light for me to run my ass off across the field and make it home unscaved. unfortulately scott would always follow me to the door and as soon as i took the first step off the porch and the screen door slammed shut he would flick the porchlight off...dickhead...

there was a dogline that stretched from one end of the yard to the other. i would always either clip it with my face or come very close to decapitating myself with it (not really it was coated in blue plastic) as i began my 400 yard sprint to the safety of my own home..... everytime i booked through the woods the lights from my house would make the wierdest shadows on the trees. you would hear a stick break in the distance and just know that your life was surely over in the next 3 minutes....a voice very similar to the one narrating city confidential or one of the court tv murder shows would always be running through my head. like the voice of merlin olsen was narrating my desparate attempt to get home safely..."JASON NEVER MADE IT HOME THAT EVENING"...the faster i would run the more i would think i felt the machetti blade almost hitting the back of my legs because the man in the jason mask was so close to catching me..i would jump up all the steps and slam into the frail wooden green door trying to open it, mom would always yell at me for almost knocking it off the hinges.

one night i was over at scotts and my stepdad called and told me i had to come home for something, so i ran my ass off through the woods and he was hiding behind a tree. as i flew by the big oak tree he jumped out and made this really loud growling noise. i lost my breath, my face turned red as the stars formed before my eyes, and i dropped to my knees with my mouth wide open unable to make a sound. my worst mightmare had finally come true and i was going to die in my front yard. it took me a little while to realize who it was and after i stopped crying i got up and walked home. i had never been that scared in my life...growing up in the woods and being afraid of the dark sucks.....